Blogging in E minor
Usually just a bunch of silly crap.

Vampires Aren’t Sexy!

vampire section of bookstore

In recent years, the likes of vampires, werewolves and zombies have enjoyed superstardom in today’s pop culture. The collective consumption habits of naïve preteens, tweens and teeny boppers have propelled vampire movies to international blockbuster status while creating an entirely new sections in bookstores that target youngsters’ appetite for the darkside. Furthermore, the marketing revenues associated with this phenomenon is outright mindboggling!

            Despite Hollywood’s romanticized portrayals of these beings as sexy, fashionable icons, the truth must not be ignored: These creatures are, in fact, monsters.

Nosferatu's Orlock: Defo not sexy!

           Historians estimate that during the peak period of vampire activity, roughly 1650 – 1870 AD, more than 15,000 human beings had ether lost their lives to vampire attacks or were themselves inflicted with this unnatural scourge. For centuries, people lived in fear of these unconscionable, bloodsucking abominations for good reason. Vampires wrecked lives, divided families and thrust entire towns into a paranoid loathing of nightfall.

            My great-grandfather was a vampire hunter in Europe during the late 19th century. In his pursuit of public safety and human preservation, he slew scores of these monsters before he himself was killed during a vampire attack.

           Unlike the starry-eyed, misguided youth of today, my great-grandfather’s generation understood this menace for what it really was – a perversion upon nature and a threat to everything decent and humane in our existence.

            Vampires are hardly the brooding, misunderstood, wrongly maligned outcasts as portrayed by the modern entertainment media; instead, they are unthinking leaches deserving of their once infamous reputation. Vampires are despised worldwide across all cultures and among all races. Simply stated, they are murderers. They are an insult to everything sacred on God’s good Earth.           

New Moon's hairless, chihuahuoid werewolf

            Werewolves are no different. Despite the often publicized attempts of the inflicted to lead peaceful, law-abiding lives among their fellows, they are simply unable to control the sickness that drives them to depravity and violence. Once bitten, a werewolf is always a werewolf; there is no 12-step program available to help them. Peace for these tortured souls is only obtainable by a silver bullet to the heart.

            On the other hand, Zombies are still despised by all; they are the bottom-feeders of the macabre food chain.

            It is imperative that we adults provide appropriate guidance to the youth of today. Their romanticizing of these ungodly creatures puts them at serious risk – renders them blind to the perverse, sickly curse associated with these abominations. We must expose this dangerous menace for all its obscene, misanthropic implications in order to better protect our children, lest any among us be forced to someday drive a stake through the heart of a loved one. After all, the undead still walk among us.


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