Tears for Prometheus

My treatment has been the ultimate exercise in delayed gratification. I religiously take drugs that make me feel like crap because I am told that they will eradicate a previously asymptomatic malady that could one day wreak havoc on my liver.

Lessons from a Gym Bag in an Airport

Things are often revealed in time . . . .             One year my wife gave me a gym bag for my birthday. Though it was hard parting with the one I had owned previously — a promotional extra from the Flying Pig Marathon —  our cat pissing in it helped convince me to abandon my comfortable […]

The Blood Letter

After receiving this distressing news, a Google search revealed that it might or might not be chronic, that it may or may not be treatable, that it can turn me yellow, lead to cancer and, yes, kill me. There was a slight chance I may have transmitted this to my wife . . . assuming that I had not gotten it from her.

The Metal Years

For better or worse, the 80’s made me what I am today. The hard knocks I experienced during this Aqua Net encrusted decade turned me from an insecure, suburban misfit with very few prospects into the self-starting, problem-solving leader I am today.

The Tea Party Ruse

“He said we couldn’t do any more activities for the rest of the year. And he kept coming back all day long and screaming at her,” Bernie shrieked.

The Year Mother Cancelled Christmas

Grandma had always been the driving force behind Christmas. Sure, she overspent and took spoiling her grandchildren to unprecedented levels. That was because she was all about giving. Grandmother always put others first, and it brought her true joy to see people happy. She was Mother Christmas.

Infamy and Irony

I frequently remind the teachers I supervise of my plight as a teen. Sure I had more than my share of issues that got in my way; nevertheless, I was permitted to fall through the cracks without a second thought. It is my belief that if all of my teachers had invested five minutes per week in me, I would have graduated from high school.

The Great Obituary Hoax

Being a journalism major, I was pleased with my newswriting course because it was the only class I had up to that point that had anything to do with journalism. Like most college students, I had been forced to muddle through years of general ed courses before being afforded the privilege of studying what it […]

The Christmas of the Offending Diamond

Felicia’s inner conflict was readily observable and somewhat charming as she attempted to conceal the ring from her family. It was apparent that removing it simply wasn’t an option. I wondered how long she could continue going about her business, like an amputee, without the use of her left hand.

Cheech and Chong Go Painting: The Infamous Toluene Blunder

I noticed that the trees in my backyard were “breathing” as the wind tossed their slender limbs about. All the sounds of the neighborhood – the flutter of birds’ wings, the distant drone of lawnmowers, the clamor of children playing in nearby yards – took on a hollow, tremolo quality. And stranger yet, the neighbor’s dog was laughing at me. “Can this stuff make you hallucinate?” I asked.